Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just google imaged poop.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
