his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
