would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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