New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
