Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
