I want you more than these girls want KFC
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
