In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
