I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
