Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
