it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
