i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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