Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
