Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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