I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
