dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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