i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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