Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
