Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
