so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
