Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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