I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I touched a dick in church today
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
