You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
