And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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