he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
