i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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