38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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