Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
