I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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