Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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