big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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