I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
