1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
