We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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