Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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