Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
