You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
