and she was petting her beer can
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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