Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just wanna soil my oats bro
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
