I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
