halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
