I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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