the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
