Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
