It's like a parade of train wrecks.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
