Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
