I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
