Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
