someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
