I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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