Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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